Like Hieroglyphics, The Writing’s On The Wall!
The second time around is for you. Life is too short and we should be making the best of it by living, laughing and having fun. Have ears like an elephant so you can hear what is being communicated and eyes like an eagle to see with clarity. If life is simple so why do we tend to make things difficult?
To prepare yourself for the dating world, I’ve come up with these warning signals:
Single at 40+ and never married: It is hard to fathom that someone in 40+ years has not found a suitable mate. Some of the excuses I received were: I was focused on building my career, I really tried to find someone but I’m so picky or I had my heart broken twenty years ago and still haven’t recovered. Yet now at 40 even 50+ they’re out there (or so they say) looking for that special someone with which to raise a family so they can be retired and paying for their children’s college tuition in their golden years.
Still living at home with their mother: Nuf said!
The Webcam: I’m online chatting away with a guy and he says, “hey, wait I have a surprise for you…” and within minutes he’s naked on his webcam and within nano-seconds I’ve clicked DELETE!
The Age of Technology: We’ve entered the electronic age keeping us in touch via email, text messaging and cell phones which ring and beep all night. We’ve become accustomed to constantly remaining in touch. I’ve been text-messaged at midnight, 4:25am 6:59am and believe me, I’m one who loves my sleepy time. How do you know if they really like you??? I often wonder is it neediness? Impatience? So if they all of a sudden tell you they’ll call you/text you and don’t because they’re too busy, forget them. And we all know that anything that starts our hot and heavy with fireworks, fizzles fast.
When they only want sex: I love when men tell you they’re sensitive, funny, great, generous, everything you want to hear and then slam you with, “so, what are you wearing now?” The typical question men always ask is “how long have you been separated/divorced? Have you had any relationships? No? Then when was the last time you had sex? Wow, you’re like a virgin all over again! Do you know what I would do to you?” That being said in hope that you’ll make a b- line right for their bedroom so you can have your world rocked! I’ve received very explicit emails saying “you’re yummy…” and the rest I’ll have to leave to your imagination. They talk about sex so much as if they’re on a deadline and their "member" is going to either shutdown or fall off! But I’m told they’re being honest and up front, but have they tried discreetness? How about keeping the sexual details to themselves??? One told me of his sexual conquests that took place overseas (for business purposes of course) and his encounters were in the 300’s. Did he think I’d be impressed? I was repulsed and knew there would be no encounters of the "me" kind in his future! Why in g-d’s name, particularly in this day and age would anyone want to sleep with, let alone kiss someone who had relations with over 300 women in Russia, Thailand and Bangkok??? And why would he feel the need to share this with me? I have one link for you SexAddictsAnonymous.com.
Phone Relationships & Pen Pals: No time to see you…they’re married, bye-bye!
Non-Committal: They tell you they just want something casual, no strings, no attachments, no obligations, no boyfriend/girlfriend labels. And the best line being, “if we’re up front about it no one will get hurt” or “it leaves the door open for both of us should something better come along!” This is the biggest problem with online dating because everyone is always online, even if they’re in a committed relationship they’re always looking for the next best thing. Even when the cards are laid on the table, you’re really not playing with a full deck because when you take it to the next level and are about to enter a casual, sexual relationship, someone always winds up getting attached, emotionally involved and eventually hurt.
The Party Animal: Just another way of self-medicating be it alcohol, prescription drugs or still a pothead to numb the pain of the divorce/separation or just failing in general. Say good-bye, there’s no need for this.
Damaged Goods: If you were clothes shopping and you saw a blouse you liked and it was torn, would you buy it? If women leave or cheated on their husbands because “they weren’t there for them” or “weren’t emotionally supportive” men being the more sensitive sex are more likely to be and remain damaged. But knowing there are 3 sides to every story, you have to ask yourself did the wife really cheat on their husbands or vice versa. Are the men looking for pity? If men tell you their wives cheated because they weren’t “there for her” physically or emotionally what makes you think they’d be emotionally available for you??? But if they cheated on their wives do you think they’re really going to tell you? If your marriage is bad and you’re overseas and have a a sexual encounter with a stranger, for business purposes is that cheating, because afterall, it is overseas? If I’m on a diet and I eat mini m&m’s is that cheating or it doesn’t count because they’re mini? Whether it be in the country, another country or on another planet, cheating is cheating. Remember, once a cheater always a cheater.
When all they talk about is their ex: I spent two hours, yes two hours on a date with a man who’s been legally separated for a year, his divorce will be final next month and he’s still not over his wife, who left him for her personal trainer. At various points in the conversation he was fighting back tears. Now I’m as sensitive as the next woman but you know what I say to that? Get over it!
PDA’s: Public displays of affection on a first date tend to overwhelm me since I like to sit back, process and see if there is any type of chemistry and yearning. When a man is overly assertive on a first date whether it be holding hands, or just very touchy-feely it signals lack of respect.
The Game: It’s simple and depends on what you want and what you are looking for. If it’s just a good time then the game is fun. When emotions get in the way, the game can become not only challenging, confusing but sometimes hurtful. Men and women both will tell you what you need to hear so listen carefully at all times.
The Hunt: The biggest attraction to anyone is the things we think are unattainable. However, once we get them we usually let them go. People are like animals we love the hunt once we make the kill we move on.
This is Classic: I was relentlessly pursued by a man who is still living at home, miserable, moved out of the bedroom, but hasn’t sought legal council due to various illnesses of each family member, which I do believe but with all that going on, how did he manage to have dating on the brain?
Make the correct choices that will ensure your happiness the second time around. We all now know what we don’t want, so do not settle. Be selective about what you want to ensure your needs are met. Remember where there’s smoke, there’s fire so if you see a red flag, run!
The second time around is for you. Life is too short and we should be making the best of it by living, laughing and having fun. Have ears like an elephant so you can hear what is being communicated and eyes like an eagle to see with clarity. If life is simple so why do we tend to make things difficult?
To prepare yourself for the dating world, I’ve come up with these warning signals:
Single at 40+ and never married: It is hard to fathom that someone in 40+ years has not found a suitable mate. Some of the excuses I received were: I was focused on building my career, I really tried to find someone but I’m so picky or I had my heart broken twenty years ago and still haven’t recovered. Yet now at 40 even 50+ they’re out there (or so they say) looking for that special someone with which to raise a family so they can be retired and paying for their children’s college tuition in their golden years.
Still living at home with their mother: Nuf said!
The Webcam: I’m online chatting away with a guy and he says, “hey, wait I have a surprise for you…” and within minutes he’s naked on his webcam and within nano-seconds I’ve clicked DELETE!
The Age of Technology: We’ve entered the electronic age keeping us in touch via email, text messaging and cell phones which ring and beep all night. We’ve become accustomed to constantly remaining in touch. I’ve been text-messaged at midnight, 4:25am 6:59am and believe me, I’m one who loves my sleepy time. How do you know if they really like you??? I often wonder is it neediness? Impatience? So if they all of a sudden tell you they’ll call you/text you and don’t because they’re too busy, forget them. And we all know that anything that starts our hot and heavy with fireworks, fizzles fast.
When they only want sex: I love when men tell you they’re sensitive, funny, great, generous, everything you want to hear and then slam you with, “so, what are you wearing now?” The typical question men always ask is “how long have you been separated/divorced? Have you had any relationships? No? Then when was the last time you had sex? Wow, you’re like a virgin all over again! Do you know what I would do to you?” That being said in hope that you’ll make a b- line right for their bedroom so you can have your world rocked! I’ve received very explicit emails saying “you’re yummy…” and the rest I’ll have to leave to your imagination. They talk about sex so much as if they’re on a deadline and their "member" is going to either shutdown or fall off! But I’m told they’re being honest and up front, but have they tried discreetness? How about keeping the sexual details to themselves??? One told me of his sexual conquests that took place overseas (for business purposes of course) and his encounters were in the 300’s. Did he think I’d be impressed? I was repulsed and knew there would be no encounters of the "me" kind in his future! Why in g-d’s name, particularly in this day and age would anyone want to sleep with, let alone kiss someone who had relations with over 300 women in Russia, Thailand and Bangkok??? And why would he feel the need to share this with me? I have one link for you SexAddictsAnonymous.com.
Phone Relationships & Pen Pals: No time to see you…they’re married, bye-bye!
Non-Committal: They tell you they just want something casual, no strings, no attachments, no obligations, no boyfriend/girlfriend labels. And the best line being, “if we’re up front about it no one will get hurt” or “it leaves the door open for both of us should something better come along!” This is the biggest problem with online dating because everyone is always online, even if they’re in a committed relationship they’re always looking for the next best thing. Even when the cards are laid on the table, you’re really not playing with a full deck because when you take it to the next level and are about to enter a casual, sexual relationship, someone always winds up getting attached, emotionally involved and eventually hurt.
The Party Animal: Just another way of self-medicating be it alcohol, prescription drugs or still a pothead to numb the pain of the divorce/separation or just failing in general. Say good-bye, there’s no need for this.
Damaged Goods: If you were clothes shopping and you saw a blouse you liked and it was torn, would you buy it? If women leave or cheated on their husbands because “they weren’t there for them” or “weren’t emotionally supportive” men being the more sensitive sex are more likely to be and remain damaged. But knowing there are 3 sides to every story, you have to ask yourself did the wife really cheat on their husbands or vice versa. Are the men looking for pity? If men tell you their wives cheated because they weren’t “there for her” physically or emotionally what makes you think they’d be emotionally available for you??? But if they cheated on their wives do you think they’re really going to tell you? If your marriage is bad and you’re overseas and have a a sexual encounter with a stranger, for business purposes is that cheating, because afterall, it is overseas? If I’m on a diet and I eat mini m&m’s is that cheating or it doesn’t count because they’re mini? Whether it be in the country, another country or on another planet, cheating is cheating. Remember, once a cheater always a cheater.
When all they talk about is their ex: I spent two hours, yes two hours on a date with a man who’s been legally separated for a year, his divorce will be final next month and he’s still not over his wife, who left him for her personal trainer. At various points in the conversation he was fighting back tears. Now I’m as sensitive as the next woman but you know what I say to that? Get over it!
PDA’s: Public displays of affection on a first date tend to overwhelm me since I like to sit back, process and see if there is any type of chemistry and yearning. When a man is overly assertive on a first date whether it be holding hands, or just very touchy-feely it signals lack of respect.
The Game: It’s simple and depends on what you want and what you are looking for. If it’s just a good time then the game is fun. When emotions get in the way, the game can become not only challenging, confusing but sometimes hurtful. Men and women both will tell you what you need to hear so listen carefully at all times.
The Hunt: The biggest attraction to anyone is the things we think are unattainable. However, once we get them we usually let them go. People are like animals we love the hunt once we make the kill we move on.
This is Classic: I was relentlessly pursued by a man who is still living at home, miserable, moved out of the bedroom, but hasn’t sought legal council due to various illnesses of each family member, which I do believe but with all that going on, how did he manage to have dating on the brain?
Make the correct choices that will ensure your happiness the second time around. We all now know what we don’t want, so do not settle. Be selective about what you want to ensure your needs are met. Remember where there’s smoke, there’s fire so if you see a red flag, run!
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